Bimethyls

Open Letters to George W. Bush
Case Wagenvoord
iUniverse (2005)
ISBN 0595361978
Reviewed by Joanne Benham for Reader Views (6/06)

This book is a tongue-in-cheek satire of government and big business, told through a series of letters to President Bush from a fictional character called Belacqua Jones, described by the author as a meth-addicted psychopath, half a bubble off plumb.

Belacqua Jones is an ardent admirer of George W. Bush and possesses keen insight into the political machine. That insight is clearly evident in this book as Jones comments on every aspect of Bush’s presidency and offers invaluable advice to further his political career. Some of Jones’ suggestions: Enhance the value of death. If someone has an illness such as cancer, offer painkillers rather than medicine to fight the disease. Morphine is much cheaper than chemotherapy. Keep the rest of the world impoverished so that the US can maintain its standard of living. Shore up Social Security by making cigarette smoking mandatory for children. If he wishes to eliminate Social Security, he can just abolish retirement. Problem solved. The big corporations can take back all the money they put into the 401 (k)s and give enormous bonuses to the top executives as they so richly deserve.

Jones is also looking out for George’s interests, such as warning him about the Ashlee Simpson debacle. It takes an astute player to recognize the potential harm Simpson could do the political machine.

At times Jones shows astonishing vision, such as urging the canonization of Judas Iscariot by the Vatican. How could anyone, except a meth-addicted psychopath, half a bubble off plumb, realize that Judas was a victim, actually a sacrifice to the greater good?

Although I don’t agree with everything Case Wagenvoord writes, I found that I was in agreement with much more of what he has written than I anticipated. A brilliant, satirical book, I would urge everyone to sit down and browse through this work. Since the book is a series of letters, in no particular order, you can jump around, picking the chapter headings that intrigue you. Some of my favorites…The Iron Colon, Tree-Huggers, The Benefits of Torture, God Bless the Democrats, Stoning and Human Sacrifice.

Puppy training can and should begin the day you bring your puppy home, but only if it’s approached in a safe manner for your puppy and his sensitivities. Housetraining your puppy can be a rewarding and non-stressful experience when you shape behavior from a series of positive experiences, instead of attempting to correct unwanted behaviors before your puppy has a chance to learn what you DO want.

Trying to teach your dog what NOT to do is not conducive to healthy, reliable learning. Your puppy must have the opportunity to learn the behaviors that you DO want which will be incompatible with behaviors that you don’t want.

Never say, “No” or yell the word “Nooo!” if your dog doesn’t understand something while training, and/or fails to perform on cue. Simply try the exercise again and if that doesn’t work, go back to a previous step. Many times you will need to settle for rewarding just a partial behavior and work up in steps from there until the whole behavior is performed.

Here’s an example. You catch your dog chewing your $90 shoes. By running over and screaming, “No!” you’ve done one of two things:

1. You’ve either rewarded him for chewing by giving him attention; this is especially true if you give chase while he’s running with your shoes; or

2. You’ve scared the bejeebers out of him and he learns that it’s not safe to relieve stress and/or sore teeth and gums when you are present. Therefore he must do it when you’re gone in order to keep himself safe and not upset you. The dog has no malice in these actions, he’s just following instinct.

This applies to crate training as well, (if the crate is introduced and used appropriately), in that it can prevent accidents from happening during the housetraining process while repeatedly giving your puppy the opportunity to be successful at eliminating outdoors. His repeated success builds his confidence and instills in his mind that the outdoors is the only place to even consider eliminating.

This kind of housetraining is not based on fear, which inhibits the learning proccess but on repeated successes. This makes the desired behavior more reliable and the puppy more confident and able to learn.

Training your puppy using positive reinforcement and other healthy behavior shaping techniques insures that his puppy training will not negatively affect his personality. This type of healthy interaction with your puppy during his first year will enable you to build a cooperative bond and to have a well mannered but confident companion by the time he reaches maturity.

Kathleen Amaro is the owner of http://www.puppy-potty-training.com.

Her instantly downloadable ebook 25 Secrets to Raising the Perfect Puppy, not only tells you how to raise the perfect puppy, but how to get him perfectly potty trained using only positive and healthy puppy training techniques.

You have just arrived at the most beautiful place on earth. The sun is shining bright, there’s a light breeze in the air and not a cloud in the sky. The sand is whiter than snow, and the ocean waves are singing nature’s lullaby as they crash onto the shore.

Life doesn’t get much better than this, you think to yourself as you find a good spot to enjoy this tropical paradise. You have your man and your best friends by your side, and you are getting ready to order a frozen concoction to complete the surreal scenery. You put your towel down, take off your cover-up skirt and tank top — you’re ready to soak up the sun.

Then it happens — you realize that everyone on the beach has directed their eyes on you. You immediately freeze, afraid to move a muscle. After what seems like lifetimes, you finally look down and realize that you are wearing a hideous, worn-out, unflattering bathing suit that’s so outdated even your great-grandmother’s grandmother wouldn’t have been caught wearing it.

Just when you are about to shrivel up in shame, the alarm clock sounds and you wake up with a new mission in life. It’s time to go swimsuit shopping.

If the thought of a tropical paradise vacation is giving you nightmares instead of dazzling dreams, then chances are you are in desperate need of swimsuit shopping support. The first thing you need to do is breathe deep and keep the thought of those waves crashing in your mind at all times.

The next step is to get rid of the old hand-me-down you’ve been wearing for way too long and relax. You are not alone. There are many places designed to help you shop comfortably while you find your perfect fit. Whether it’s high prices, fluorescent lights, crowded stores or three-way mirrors you want to avoid, there is a swimsuit shopping solution for you. Here’s a list of the top 10 different places and ways you can go about shopping for your swimsuit.

1. Check out stores that sell only swimwear — these are great for specialized assistance.

2. Department stores offer plenty of choices, but the lighting can be harsh in the dressing rooms.

3. Buy them online. Find a site that asks for your specific measurements and body type.

4. Check out discount stores for great deals.

5. Surf the net for specific swimsuit sales at your favorite department stores.

6. Shop seasonal sales to get major discounts.

7. Fashion magazines and catalogs are great ways to avoid the crowded malls, but before you order make sure to take your measurements and buy the suits that best match your shape.

8. Specialty stores and boutiques near the beach often offer great sales but not much variety.

9. eBay.com often has brand-new designer suits just waiting for a bid.

10. Bring your best buddy with you. You can make the experience a bit more fun and get an honest opinion.

Carolina Diaz-Bordon
eDiets.com Staff Writer

At eDiets, there’s something for every body. Click here to choose from more than 20 personalized diet plans!

1/2 c HEINZ Tomato Ketchup 1 tb HEINZ Worcestershire Sauce 2 tb
Honey 1/2 t Chili powder 2 tb HEINZ Apple Cider Vinegar Combine
ingredients. Brush on turkey pieces several times during last 15
minutes of grilling time.

More and more lending companies in the UK are offering unsecured personal loans. This means that the borrower now has a greater choice.

Several decades ago, unsecured personal loans are rarely mentioned. But today, the unsecured personal loan is the centre of a thriving business. This is because there is a rapidly increasing number of lending companies and financial institutions in the United Kingdom that are now offering unsecured personal loans. But what does this business trend mean to the average person who intends to take on an unsecured personal loan?

More Choice

The unsecured personal loan is an amount borrowed by a person for various purposes. There is no collateral needed to obtain the unsecured personal loan. This means that a person’s house need not be put at risk should they not be able to keep up with the loan repayments. But this does not mean the borrower does not face any risk when they fail to meet payments as it will affect their credit rating.

However, with more lending companies and financial institutions offering unsecured personal loans, the average person will be having more choices of loan deals.

Some reasons for taking on an unsecured personal loan include consolidating other loans such as credit card debts, and making large purchases, such as buying a car or joining a holiday tour.

Lower Rates

The best part, however, of having an increasing number of financial institutions granting unsecured personal loans is the lowering of interest rates. Interest rates are lowered by the lending companies due to competition, even when lenders face higher risk in granting unsecured personal loans than in granting secured loans. There are even lending companies that specialize in service clients with arrears.

With lower rates, the loan applicant will have an easier time making loan repayments. Therefore, the obviously logical step that a loan applicant must do is to shop around and compare the loan deals offered by the various lending companies. But the loan applicant must be careful with going for loan deals with the lowest interest rates. This is because the published interest rates of lending companies are for the average loan applicant only. That is, the interest rate may not apply to a particular borrower.

In choosing the right lending company that grants certain additional benefits for certain purposes of the unsecured personal loan, the borrower must not only compare interest rates but also the loan rates and loan terms. The borrower must invest the time and effort to make the research necessary before signing up with a lending company.

You may freely reprint this article provided the following author’s biography (including the live URL link) remains intact:

About The Author

John Mussi is the founder of UK Personal Secured Loans who help homeowners find the best available loans via the http://www.uk-personal-secured-loans.com website.

Symptoms After Colonic
There are a number of detox programs designed to suit different lifestyles. A few of them are juice fasting, herbal detoxification, detox baths/ saunas and bowel cleansing. Some detox programs may target only the liver and the kidneys, while others are suited for bowel or skin cleansing. This includes raw vegetables fresh vegetable juice and steamed vegetables although some nutrients are lost in steam, and diet with Master Cleanse. The reason constipation is so dangerous to our health is because it is a sign that things are not moving which means food is staying in our system far too long and this causes the food to begin to rot inside of us this could be a big reason for many illnesses so we need to get the food out as fast as possible. Master Cleanse program is highly popular with celebrities in Hollywood. Some supplements will help the mobilization of toxin’s in our fat and other toxin deposit’s located throughout the body, which is the reason why you must be on the Master Cleanse

Why Use Master Cleanse Program
2. Most of us eat far less fiber than we need and consume far more sugar, refined flour, saturated fats, and protein than we should. In this toxic era, we need fiber more than ever, to help us neutralize the toxins and scrub them out of our system. A diet rich in whole grains, legumes, fruits, and fresh vegetables offers us plenty of fiberbut how many of us eat that way? We’re more likely to consume fatty, sugary, and floury foods or to go on the low-carb, low-fiber diets like Atkins and South Beach. Previous generations of Americans ate twenty to thirty grams of fiber per day. Our current average has dropped to less than twelve. So the food we eat sits in our colons for weeks, months, even years, where it slowly putrefies, bloating our stomachs and poisoning our bodies. Our poor, overloaded livers are supposed to detoxify our bodies, but they can’t keep up with this toxic challenge. They do the best they can, but how can they properly metabolize fat when they’re assaulted by this daily dose of toxins? Once again, we gain weight. See more on Master Cleanse at Master Cleanse Foot Detox is another simple and easy method of detoxifying. With this procedure you only have to place your foot in basin of salted water that contains ion generators. The ion generators are then supplied with a very low current of electricity which causes the production of positively charged and negatively charged ions that then attract opposite charged particles in the body.

Master Cleanse Benefits:
Master Cleanse is the world most popular diet program. So, do start your master cleanse diet today. If you are being advised to have heart surgery be sure to get an alternate opinion on chelation therapy.

Everyone’s needs for spices storage are completely unique. Some people have lots of space, but only have a few spices to store and they don’t use them often. Others have limited space, lots of spices, and use some of them all the time and some of them rarely. Often people buy many types of storage before finding the one they really like and use. So, to help you get it right the first time, here are a few things to consider in selecting the right storage to organize your spices.

1. Is it easy to use? Test it out in the store. Is it easy to open and close? Can you access it with one hand? How many steps does it take to use it?
2. Will it be easy to clean? Are there lots of nooks and cranny for dirt and grime to settle into? Can you submerse it in water without destroying the contents?
3. Is it the right size? Will you have to constantly refill containers? if so are they really easy to open, close, and refill?
4. Is it easy to get the right amount out of the containers? Can you fit your measuring spoon inside? Does it have controls to keep all the contents from accidently spilling out at once? If this is important to you, today you can even get containers that meter out the right amounts for you! Just dial the amount you want and let it go.
5. Where in your kitchen do you have space? Don’t buy a product unless you KNOW that you have a designated space for it and it will fit. Measure the area you plan to store spices in before you shop.
6. Will each spice have it’s own home so that you will know exactly where to put it when you are done with it? And it will be easy to find?
7. Count the number of spices you have. Make sure the storage solution you buy will be large enough for all your needs, plus have room to grow. Consider using more than one solution. One to keep handy for everyday cooking, one for infrequent use.
8. Do you really love the look of it and will you enjoy using it? If you don’t really love it, cooking will be less enjoyable for you and you may end up ordering out more often. Cooking at home is the best way to eat healthy and save money. So why not make cooking as easy and enjoyable as you possibly can?
9. Will it fit with your decor and colors even if you change them? Try to get something neutral enough to fit in with any decor. Having a theme to all your kitchen accessories is a great way to make it easy to redecorate and still have everything fit in. For example, your theme could be white accessories, or chrome or stainless steel. If your items conform to a theme, they tend to look less cluttery when they are out on your counters.
10. Don’t buy an item just because it’s a novelty and seems like a cool idea. When you get these impulse buy gadgets home, they often don’t fit in and you’ll probably end up giving it away anyway.

Thinking through these factors will help you get the right storage the first time. But just in case, whatever you buy, make sure it’s returnable. Even the best shoppers sometimes get something home and find it just doesn’t work.

© 2006 Ariane Benefit

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed., is a professional organizer, coach, author and speaker with over 25 years experience helping people and businesses reach new heights of performance. She has written over 80 articles which can be found on the popular “Neat Living Blog: Neat Ideas for Living” at http://www.NeatLiving.net and at http://www.OrganizingForHealth.com. Ariane resides in Bloomfield, NJ with her husband, Alan and three adorable Maine Coone cats. When not helping people organize their lives, she enjoys gardening, entertaining, traveling and riding her motorcycle.